I began this month with preparing the house for his return, got bed down on first floor, rented a commode, got grab bars and bed rails, making it easy for him to get around the house.We had two trial weekends, August 1st long weekend and the following one, just three days before his return. The first was a great homecoming, wonderful for him to see Finn, the neighbours and return to our intimacy as a couple. It was a great trial run, but I have to admit I enjoyed by 4 days off in between. We had lots of visitors and celebrations, so on the second visit, I requested no visitors so I could just concentrate on us.
Three days later we brought him home to Jacks welcome home banner and a visit from Arnie. We had a quiet dinner and evening. It has been a challenging ten days. Problems with the home care, and personal adjustments have made this a real challenge for me mentally. I cry and cry. I am fraught with anxiety over every little thing. Problems that should be routine are like the Alps for me to mount. I am hyper sensitive and overwrought, and exhausted. Because I love him so, I try to give in to his every demand, although he is being as helpful as he can. He is in chronic pain, even worse than before and quite helpless. It is almost more than I can bear. At times cranky and stubborn, it is impossible to fight with someone who you can't even understand. And there are few in my circle who truly understand what I am going through, although I have had great support from our neighbours and emotionally from my friend out west, Roberta
I have had it with the so called support system provided by OHIP, it sucks. I have had a week of stress over this and now two meetings and still not resolved. I need time to recuperate, to heal, to grieve. Still waiting for many things that should have been done at the hospital, and am getting call after call. I need these things to be settled before I can settle down.
The only bright side in this whole thing is the place I have chosen for his private physio, called NeuroLogic. They have done more for him in two sessions than in the whole five weeks at EB. Now all I have to do is get a dam prescription to get paid, what a pitiful excuse for healthcare. I have done more chasing around than I care to think about. His speech is coming along and we can at least communicate and enjoy each other (most of the time)
So I go I into month four with hope of better mobility and quality of life for Mike and a return to a more stable emotional state for me.
